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5 Royal rules that will make you think your in laws aren't that bad

Updated: Mar 29


Long have we assumed the rules of the British royal family are pretty bloody strict but after the recent Harry and Meghan tell-all interview to the world’s most trusted day time journalist - Oprah, we have learnt that the Queen’s no black nail polish rule is just the tip of the iceberg.


If you thought your in-law were bad then strap in and find out what marrying into the most conservative family on the planet is like and gee-whiz when does that diversity chief start?


1. You can’t walk in front of the Queen

Someone really should have told Trump this rule before his visit to the UK in 2018. Even Phil the Greek needs to walk 2 steps behind his own wife as a sign of respect and gee-whiz it really gets his goat but Phil is a monarchist and doesn’t want to give Biz the shits.


2. Don’t wear anything skimpy - but don’t really define skimpy

So we really couldn't get to the bottom of this rule and we were hoping the interweb would be like ‘only 3.5-inch heels and a split no higher 7.65 cm from your crotch’ but we couldn't find anything that specific. We do know that cleavage is a no-no and off the shoulder/boat necklines are frowned upon during the day. Also, appaz only married women can wear tiaras after 6 pm.


3. Can’t have 2x heirs travelling on the same plane (train and automobiles OK)

Kate got into a bit of strife about this a couple of years ago when she booked her family on a commercial flight instead of getting two separate charters for her husband and eldest son George who are both future kings. But she was just trying to save the planet and look better than Meghan, you know?


4. Shut your mouth unless Queen Biz says so

Well this was obviously a class Meghan and Harry wagged but that whole ‘were you silent or silenced’ question doesn’t need to be asked. If you are part of the royal family you don't say anything unless the Queen says you’re allowed. You gotta play by her rules or - ‘no soup for you!’


5. The Palace has to have 6 ravens flying around the tower at all times

This one is defs pretty mental and probs need to be reviewed at the next British Royal family AGM. But superstition says that there should be 6 ravens flying around the tower otherwise the monarchy will fall. As a security measure, the palace ensures 7 well-fed ravens are alive at all times and whoever has to babysit the royal poultry must shit themselves every time there is a bird flu outbreak.


You can learn more about these crazy royal family rules in this week poddy! Listen now!


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