In honour of Biz’s new best fur mates, Fergus and Muick (pronounced “Mick” duh) we’re giving you the complete history of the Queen’s adorbs corgi-slash-dorgi obsession. Bless her.
Dookie - 1933
That’s right, Biz got her first dog in 1933. Do you know how long ago that was? Like, that’s so long ago people were still trying to decide if Hilter was a good bloke or not.
Jane - 1937
Sadly, Jane was fatally struck by a car which we can’t type about too much, lest we stir up our own childhood pet traumas.
Susan - 1944
Then one her 18th, she got a new one named Susan which is a bloody great name for a dog. Susan also got the hot ticket when she traveled with Biz and Phil-The-Greek on their honeymoon. What a life.
At least 30 others - 1945 - 2001
Biz loved Susan so much, we reckon she would have cloned her if she could but they weren’t really up to it in the 40’s. Needless to say, Her Madge bred corgis and dorgis (that’s dachshund x corgi) from Susan’s lineage for 80 FUCKING YEARS. And had at least 30 corgi’s to call her own.
The End - 2002
In 2002, while we were all listening to Shaggy, Biz was going through a rough patch after the death of the Queen Mum (who may have got the villain edit in the Crown) and she decided to give up the breeding. You know, she wasn’t getting younger and all that.
Plot Twist - 2021
With Phil-The-Greek in and out of hossy and Harry and Megs determined to destroy her life’s work, Biz has been a little stressed of late. So she said stuff it to the no-more-corgi-rule and got more corgis. Enter Mick and Fergus. Named after a lake and an uncle respectively. Good on you, babe.
For more updates on this story and other rivertting tidbits, listen to We’ll Never Be Royals.