Updated: Jun 10, 2020
LK and Rossy are sick of the Brits and are now focussing their attention on other nations kicking off with the Euro royal families. This episode will be distributed in two parts because basically, LK rabbited on for way too long for it to be one. Discover all about the Swede’s royal-ness and as always a few other unrelated useless facts. Enjoy!
How’s your shit
Well the royals are still banging around the palaces in their soft pants but have this week stuck their mugs into a couple of people’s weekly staff meetings as a way to say thanks and big up the healthcare workers around the Commonwealth nations. Kate and Sophie have jumped onto another Zoom call this time to say thanks to nurses all over the world for International Nurse Day. Some other royals did as well, including Charles, William, Camilla and Anne but no one really cares because Kate and Sophie are the tits.
Another bit of royal news also surrounds coronavirus, as Princess Charlotte is enlisted to help hand out care packages to her peeps. Twitter loses it’s shit because she was not wearing a face mask or considering protecting herself with any of the Trump recommended treatments, such as hydroxychloroquine.
We are giving the British royals a rest for now as Rossy’s rage re Megxit is getting out of control and also we’ve covered all the fun characters. So now we are heading east to discover what other European countries have royal families and what kind of scandal they have hanging in their closets. First, we head to Sweden to check out the Bernadotte’s.
Even though the name of this royal dynasty is hard to say, LK gives us a very detailed look into the House of Bernadotte. LK has a lot to say about King Carl and all the good fun times he seems to have had participating in orgies, hanging out with gangsters and making false promises to vulnerable women he sleeps with. Allegedly. Also, his Mrs has some links to Nazi Germany in the form of family-owned warehouses in Brazil and something about ammunition. Yikes. But again - allegedly.
Their kids though are fairly well behaved in comparison to their parents. Victoria, Carl Jr (not to be confused with the fast food chain Carl’s Jr) and Madeleine. All good kids really. All happily married and producing untitled royals with their spouses. Which includes a personal trainer, a topless model and some nice bloke from Yale University. They all have offspring, joint health insurance and access to the crown jewels. Harry and Meghan may have tried to emulate this low key royal model but the only thing they forgot to build in was a flexible, liberal, open-minded head of state. King Carl is a modern royal who is keen to help out the Swedish taxpayer by removing working royals from his line of descendents. Because royal kids are expensive, you know and those orgies don’t pay for themselves! However, for Queen Biz, neither orgies or non-working royals should be associated with her immediate family. Got that Andrew and Meghan?
That was the Swedes!
In part two we find out some fun facts about Grace Kelly and the Monaco royal family and LK and Rossy both share quiz duties. It’ll be a ripper!