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Frogmore Cottage evicts latest tenants

After only 6 weeks Frogmore’s Cottage’s newest tenants, Jack and Eugenie have pulled the pin and returned to the Royal Lodge to roommates Prince Andrew and the former Duchess of York Fergie, ‘Why?’ you ask does Fergie still live with Andrew?

  1. Because they are divorced and:

  2. Because Andrew is wanted by the FBI for having sex with minors and for being involved in Epstein's sex trafficking offences..?

It’s weird right, but I guess being married to the royal family is just like flying in business class - once you do it you can never go back to the plebs.

Anyway, that’s by the by, more importantly, why does nobody want to live in the newly renovated Frogmore cottage? Does it have bad new nuptials juju? Is there an electric cooktop? Or one of those hideous bright red shiny splashbacks? Can you not run the dishwasher at the same time as a shower without getting scolded? Whatever it is, it would seem that Frogmore cottage is just like Prince Andrew himself - unwanted.

According to Finding Freedom author Omid Scobie, both Eugenie and Beatrice dragged their husbands to the Royal Lodge to spend Christmas with the olds (can you imagine what Christmas day is like with Andrew and Fergie?! An absolute hoot no doubt!). As the UK is riddled with the ‘rona', and leaving the house in a British winter is never much fun anyway, Eugenie and Jack have seemingly just stayed. Perhaps they all started watching ‘Bridgerton’ in that week in between Christmas and New Year when no one knows what day it is? (...if you haven’t yet watched Bridgerton, you need to drop everything you are doing and go and watch it right now. Like right now). Or perhaps they all have the ‘rona' and were doing a 14-day quarantine - but Fergie has had too many of her special cocktails and is now holding them all hostage - forcing everyone to come up with a marketing strategy to get her enough watch time on YouTube to start turning a profit!

Surely this would give Queen Biz the shits, having a perfectly good cottage going to waste? Perhaps she’ll list the property on Airbnb? Or change the locks and keep it for one of the more grateful offspring in her underachieving line of heirs?

Until then Frogmore cottage remains uninhabited and it begs the question - how does one submit a rental application to a vacant royal lodging? Asking for a friend.

We’ll keep you updated on Eugenie her bump, her tequila selling husband and their living arrangements as new details emerge.

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