This week LK and Rossy are taking a look into Prince Andrew’s life… and it’s a doozy! Dodgy mates, shonky deals and a plethora of news reports on his association with Jeffrey Epstein. But it’s not all bad news because the best thing about Prince Andrew is his daughter Beatrice’s hats. Cruise, Marry, Shag and the Quick (but not really) Quiz also get a run.
The benefits of self-isolating
Avoiding people and any kind of social interaction is one of LK’s finely tuned skills. The sub temperatures of Chicago’s winters (and the current not only encourage her to maintain this status but create an avenue for her to discover wonderful information provided by the internet. This week she’s learning all about the difference between Cream soda, Creamy soda and Creaming Soda.
Wow. Just wow.
Rossy, however, has used a social interaction to gain an organic famous person story that involves a wedding, an Irish castle and Princess Eugenie. Or is Beatrice? The one that got married..? Anyway, could there be anything more exciting than singing ‘God save the Queen’ to the Queen? Well, there isn’t but if you want to hear the story just listen to the podcast. That’s how this works ok, we give you a teaser and then you go listen - subscribe, rate, review.
Prince Andrew Duke of York
Oversized and overpriced headwear worn by his daughters and media appointed nicknames are about the best thing to ever happen to Prince Andrew. Finding out that Fergie is less fun than LK thought she was is a big deal and Rossy just wants to know once and for all which one is Beatrice and which one is Eugenie?
The quick quiz is a lie
With the best of intentions, the quiz always starts off being a short segment but with LK and Rossy’s natural ability to chat shit and vamp this bit always ends up being very long. Never fear, it’s full of fun and not so fun facts about Prince Andrew including details that you may need for future Trivia Nights and entries in your ‘Useless Facts Book’. You’re welcome.
There once was a girl named Koo Stark
At most 21st birthday parties your mates usually share embarrassing stories in front of your Nan and bulk order Cocksucking Cowboy shots from a less than impressed bartender in their early 40’s. Mate, we get it. You said cock and suck. It’s hilarious. But, Prince Andrew met a porn star that his Mum said he wasn’t allowed to marry! Despite being the woman Prince Andrew was absolutely besotted with, American actress Koo Stark was given the flick. In fact, having any kind of relationship with her was quickly quashed by Queen Liz and the rest of the Royal prudes who don’t appreciate a good old fashioned nip slip.
Cruise Marry Shag
The world’s greatest game leaves Rossy feeling a bit queasy as she doesn’t want to go on a cruise, marry or shag any of her options this week. But, that is in fact the whole point of this game. So she soldiers on just as James Corden would.
Google hates Andy
Page 9 of Google is the first place you will find anything about Prince Andrew’s life pre his friendship with Jeffrey Epstein. But once you get there you’ll discover he is a happily divorced middle-aged man who spent a lot of time jetting around the world getting kickbacks from his wealthy mates. Even using his position as Britain Special Representative for Trade and Investment to see his Surrey mansion for a hefty 3-15 million pounds above the asking price. Fortunately for Fergie he was able to also swing her some of his ill-gotten gains also. Anyway, things are looking pretty crook for Andy at the moment being wanted by US officials and all.
So, not really sure how informative this has been and if the podcast will educate anyone about Prince Andrew’s weird life but here you go.
Want to find out which Royals are in the news this week? Yeah, good thought you might! Well, then jump over to our Royal Recap - Week One.