We’ve finally arrived at Princess Margaret week and this ep is a ripper. We find out all about Margaret and why everyone wants to be her! Not only does she know how to dress and drink she is also very good at dating high profile lovers in a low profile way. Except for that one time she was photographed at her home in Mustique with a bloke 17 years younger than her, while she was married. Anyway who cares, LK and Rossy discover some truth about Margot’s misspent youth and her well-spent champagne budget. Listen now!
How’s your shit
When the highlight of your week is taking your bins out it’s hard not be uber excited for this episode. But also it’s Princess Margaret so you should be excited!
But first, we have to find out what those other Royal bozos have been doing this week.
LK has been watching paint dry but has been able to tear herself away to discover some pretty boring Royal happenings this week. Kate had to take wife lessons before she married Wills and Harry’s mate Jane, The Ape Lady has been chatting to the press. Because she is concerned Harry may give up hunting as he has had a gut full of listening to Meghan talk about saving the animals. But you know what they say, mate, happy wife - happy life!
Shut up already, it's time to talk about Margaret!
If you could be any Royal family member it would 100% be Princess Margaret. She knows how to dress, drink and date high profile lovers in a low profile way. She may have got into a little bit of trouble and had a few emotional champagne-fuelled outbursts but who cares, when you’re the sister of the Queen and everyone wants to be you! Well, we sure as shit do!
Buckingham Palace Brownies
If you’re one of those parents who have people coming up to you all day saying ‘Your kid is so cute’ well we hate to be the ones to break this to you - Princess Margaret was cuter than your kid. Margaret was a Brownie in the 1st Buckingham Palace Brownie Pack, formed in 1937. She was also a Girl Guide and later a Sea Ranger (don’t ask any questions about what a Sea Ranger is, because we don’t know). Also, if you read this subheading and thought we were going to talk about hash brownies in Buckingham Palace… advance to GO, please collect $200.
The love of her life
So there is this divorced (with 2 kids) military bloke who comes to work in the Queen Mum’s household and his name is Peter Towsend. He’s kinda handsome and Margaret really fancies him. Nek minute he’s proposing to her, but Queen Mary (Margaret’s granny) is not happy about his previous marriage so she gets on the blower to Churchill who sends Townsend to Brussels on important waffle business. Which is shithouse for Margot. But it’s not all bad because the UK gets a new, also divorced, PM - named Sir Anthony Eden. Not long after Eden is given the top job he has a cuppa with the Queen and they make a plan to help Margaret and Townsend be together forever. But something happens and suddenly Margaret is releasing a statement saying she made up her mind all on her own and she doesn't want to marry that bastard anyway. Which seems strange and sad and also a little bit silly. But we’ll never know the truth and that is the worst.
The husband of her dreams
Next up is this lush lad Anthony Armstrong Jones and he is the kind of guy who goes to supper clubs, and that’s exactly where he met Princess Margaret. He takes photos to earn a quid and they have 2 kids together and, like Charles and Diana, have a lot of out of office bonks.
All the lovers
So this is likely not the full list of Princess Margaret’s lovers but it’s the cream of the crop:
Mick Jagger - babe
Peter Sellers - actor
Keith Miller - Aussie cricketer
Picasso - painter
They all have a romantic liaison (except Picasso - who just tried to charm his way into Buckingham Palace) with Margaret but LK reckons if it wasn’t for Queen Mary getting all up in everyone's grills then Peter Townsend would have been the love of her life. Which is as bad as saying that in Sex in the City Carrie should have ended up with Aiden, because everyone knows that is bullshit.
If you’re going to chain smoke for 20 years, do it in a Tiara
This may be a secret ploy to promote the new LK and Rossy meme collection but this is our website so we can do what we want! Just like Margaret did whatever she wanted. To many, Margaret was the hero of the British royal family as she was always breaking rules and guzzling overpriced liquor. But basically after being a chain smoker most of her life Margaret suffered a series of health problems and died February 9, 2002.
But big up these memes for us please because they are funny and witty and also about history and shit.