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  • LK and Rossy

Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip

Updated: Apr 14, 2020


So, Rossy thinks Queen Biz and Prince Phil need to kick the bucket before we get any real goss on them. But, there is already so much we do know about them and their Royal lyfe. That’s why there is a whole episode about them! Find out where all the bling in Biz’s engagement ring comes from and why Prince Phillip may well be the inventor of the Dad joke! Of course, LK continues to interrupt and ask Rossy questions she doesn’t know the answers to! The internet facilitates a Quick (but not) Quiz and Cruise, Marry, Shag still reins.


How's your shit?

LK is doing the iso don’t wash your hair challenge cos bitches on the internet are always saying how amazing it will make your hair. But the iso boredom takes over and after 3 weeks she finally washes it and TBH it just kinda looks the same. Devo. Rossy is also just sitting in her front room day in and day out but no one gives a sod because it’s all of us right now.


Anyway, LK is super impressed by the Queen's outfit for her Covid-19 address, except she was expecting a blue ensemble as a little nod to the NHS. Her lady in waiting is rolling her eyes for not thinking of this! This address is only the 5th time Queen Biz has strayed from her usual Christmas shout out and the absence of the warm lighting is noted.


Queen Biz and Prince Phil

So Biz and Phil are pretty low key Royals who have spent their lives dedicated to the throne, which we respect but also it’s a tiny bit boring. We hope they don’t die in order for us to discover the real goss about their lives, but…


Righto let’s go back to the beginning


Kid Biz

When Biz is only 10 years old, Biz’s Dad Bertie is suddenly made the King of England and she becomes heir to the throne. She adores her father and mother as well as her little sister who they all call Margot. Elizabeth’s childhood nickname is Lillibet and could they be any cuter? Bertie doesn’t really like being the King and he smokes like a chimney to make it through his days as head honcho of the Commonwealth.


Meet Cute

Biz and Phillip meet at a wedding but not like the rest of us who are sat at the singles table getting sloshed on fruity lexia. Biz was only 13 and it was a family wedding so everyone was obliged to get up and belt out the Grease megamix. After the wedding they take up writing to each other. Which is olden day talk for DM’s and by her 21st birthday Biz has locked in Phil and they announce their engagement! Fruity lexia for everyone!


'We'd like to make a toast to the most important people in the room... The bar staff.'


Dat Bling

As you would expect the heir to the throne is always going to get a rippa engagement ring. Biz’s ring has diamonds that are from Phillip’s Mum’s tiara which she got from a Russian Tsar’s wife. Who was also Biz’s Dad’s cousin and it only goes to show that it’s not what you know it’s who you know! Her wedding band is made from a blob of Welsh gold which has made a bunch of wedding rings for the ladies of the Windsor’s dynasty. Meghan, however, does not make this elite club.


Coronation

A lot of things happened in 1952, including the Corvette prototype being finished and the creation of Mr Potato Head. But none more important than the Queen's coronation. Her outfit is on fleek and Rossy feels like she’s making up for having to have a post-war budget wedding do.


Surname business

Historically, women and children take the name of their husband or father and that’s just the way it is. However, when you marry the Queen that’s just not how they roll. Phillip campaigns to get his last name on a birth certificate for years and finally gets his way when Queen Mary kicks the bucket and Churchill retires. He lines up at birth deaths and marriages and rushes through the paperwork 11 days before Prince Andrew’s birth.


Fun facts about marrying Natzi’s

Fun Fact. The only reason you wouldn’t be invited to your brother’s British Royal wedding would be if you married a Nazi. Phillip’s sisters found this out the hard way after their invites got ‘lost in the post’ and they didn’t not get a guernsey to the Royal Wedding of 1947. As the only unwed co-host of this pod, Rossy is going to try really hard to remember this when choosing her husband.


Diana's death

While Biz and Phil were the ones who pushed Charles to marry Diana, in the end, they were not her biggest fan and the British public were fuming when there was zero response from the palace at the time of her death. Eventually, Biz makes a public address which, at the time, was only the 2nd one without a Christmas tree. She also agrees to fly the Buckingham Palace flag at half-mast, even though this flag is only there to let the commoners know the head of state is in da house!


Wow, so much has happened to poor old Biz and Phil and we think they should buy themselves a tropical island somewhere and have a rest.


Until next week…



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