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ROYAL FAMILY NEWS: Meghan & Harry’s Daughter’s Name Is …

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Psych! Made you look. We have no gd idea and neither does anyone else outside of the Montecito compound but that doesn’t stop all the mad bastards on the internet from having a few guesses and putting a few down with the bookies.

First, let’s revisit how wrong we all were when we were trying to guess Archie’s name back in 2019.


  1. Arthur - 5/1 (one of Charles’ middle names, he has 8 million)

  2. Philip - 6/1 (as in Phil-The-Greek RIP)

  3. Albert - 6/1 (also after Phil-The-Greek. Poor bugger probably thought he was in with a decent shot)

  4. James - 8/1

  5. Alexander - 10/1

  6. Alfred - 10/1

  7. Thomas - 12/1 (and yikes)

What we ended up with was Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor and LK’s still not over it but more on that later.


And so now, here we are, a pandemic and a Megxit later. Step right up folks and place your bets!


Diana - 4/1 (like, obvi)


Allegra - 11/1 (the bookies are all about it being an A name to match Archie but we ain’t sure)


Isabella - 12/1 (because Fred and Mary did it first)


Alice - 14/1 (after Phil-The-Greek’s Mum)


Abigail - 14/1 (didn’t Queen Victoria have a daughter called Abigail or are we thinking of Taylor Swift’s bestie?)


Phillipa - 16/1 (Christ, will someone please give Phil-The-Greek a lookin?)


Kamala - 16/1 (Because … freedom?)


Oprah - 50/1 (lol)


Camilla - 66/1 (Double lol)


Melania - 200/1 (As in … Trump?)


And there you have it. We reckon Harry and Megs are going to set the lists of fire and will go for something very California like Malibu Stacy. You heard it here first.

Royal Family News


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