ROYAL NEWS: What's With Phil-The-Greek's Mum?

The answer, in short, is so much.

Born in 1885, she was Queen Victoria’s great granddaughter (I’m mean, aren’t they all?). And being a member of the royal family might sound pretty lush but Alice was born profoundly deaf and no one in the family was cool with it. Despite the fact that she eventually learned to speak three languages and lip read, they thought she was a bit daft and maybe crazy.

She told them to mostly get fucked in 1913 and became a combat nurse in the Bulkans war because she was a badass. not before she married a Prince though (obvi). In 1903, our mate Alice married Prince Andrew of Greece. They had one regular daughter, three Nazi daughters and a spectacular son we all know and love as Phil-The-Greek.

They all lived happily in Greece for about three minutes before there was a national revolt and they had to smuggle baby Phil out in an orange crate. You know the story.

By the 1920’s, Alice was ready to call bullshit on Andy and their marriage. She became all about Greek Jesus at that point. No judgement but if we were in her shoes we probably would have chosen a more champagne soaked path forward.

Meanwhile, the fam bam back at Windsor castle thought she was getting a bit too into Greek Jesus and given that they’d always thought she was a bit mad - had her committed to a mental asylum like you could in the 30’s.

Then Sigmund Freud entered stage left and did all kinds of fucked up shit to her. Yeah, that Sigmund Freud. Eventually she was able to discharge herself. Then she moved to Germany, saved a Jewish family from the death camps and started her own religion.

Hence why she wore a habit to Biz and Phil’s wedding in The Crown.

Christ. Someone call Omid Scobie, we need a tell all.

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