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Royals Doing Things - Week Three

Righto fellow Royalists, it’s time to strap in for another week on the iso-coaster!

If you believe Rossy (and we may as well) Carole Middleton, the mother of Perfect Kate, is an outrageous cannon of crazy just waiting fire. Seems Charles thinks so too, according to a story this week in The Express. Those journos are calling it a “Battle Royale” which we think is a bit rich, but whatever gets you clicks, guys. Anyway, it’s a common tale. Charles is dirty because appaz the Middleton’s get to see the grandchildren all the god damn time and Charles doesn’t. But I mean, Carole doesn’t get to wear a crown -- like ever -- so we guess all is even at the end of the day.


Meanwhile, Marketing Director Billy’s mum (hey girl!) found this run down of the Megxit situation. We’re not sure if the author is reading this, but if you are -- five points for accuracy, we LIT-ER-AL-LY couldn’t have said it better. And believe us, we have tried.


In almost 20 year old news that’s resurfacing because why the hell not, appaz Prince Edward of Edward and Sophie really pissed William off one time. The Express will try and tell you that they’re still mad at each other but they obvi didn’t pay attention to that adorable Nurses Day Zoom call both families jumped in on. Anyway, in 2001 Edward’s production company was found to be filming on the campus of St. Andrews, William’s uni, when they shouldn’t have been. At the time, it was especially sensi because there was a media blackout on all things William and Harry on account of Diana’s death, and also on account of the princes being literal children with a need for privacy. Seems like a dick move by Ed but we’re also inclined to give him a free pass this one time.


Looks like Charlotte and her incredible eyebrows are going to be the first royals officially out of iso, so there’s that.


Also in the Express (seriously, thanks guys) a story about how Camilla had to learn how to work hard after she married Charles because he’s such a goddamn energizer bunny. No judgement, Cammy, wouldn’t we all prefer to be eating carbs in our soft pants everyday? This article loses a little cred when it goes on to explain how Camilla didn’t need a spin doctor to relate to the public after marrying Charles. Like, sure she’s charming and all but there is an entire section on her wiki page titled Image Rehabilitation. It has hyperlinks and everything.


And finally, we’ve started following Diana’s niece, Kitty Spencer, on insta. You will remember her as the best dressed one at Harry and Megs’ wedding. It’s mostly photos of her looking flawless in fashion that we’d give both our kidneys for, and we love it. Sometimes there are horses, sometimes Lisa Vanderpump gets a look in. Wow.


Um, is that it for the week?


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