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Sad Harry

As if the ranga man bun wasn’t tragic enough, it looks like Harry’s about to be hit with another blow. The Express reckons Biz is going to officially strip him of his military titles at the annual Megxit review in March.

This might not seem like a big deal to us mere mortals, but Harry’s been quite partial to his khakis ever since he was a wee little thing following Diana around on official duties.

And it stands to reason that if you’re constantly being ferried from palace to castle and reminded just how blue your blood is, putting on some camo and shooting up some stuff is probably pretty fun. But alas, no more for Harry.

While we don’t know the exact reason for the patronage stripping, it probably has something to do with all the selling out and terrible content. I mean, say what you want about Biz but when she gets behind a mic she doesn’t waste our time with platitudes and celebrities lamenting their privilege (see: Archwell Audio).

And so begs the question of how Harry might spend his time now that he’s not rolling around the desert in a tank fighting for freedom. Well, obvi first we imagine he has to pluck up the courage to attend the annual Megxit review at the end of March which will probs take a while.

You don’t attempt to destroy a monarchy without having to sit through a few icy convos over high tea. Once that blows over, he’ll probably try and find more things to sell. Personally we wouldn’t mind a line of Harry hair extensions (ala Jessica Simpson) -- OK that’s a ridiculous suggestion but honestly at the rate they’re going, we should expect to see at least branded booze before 2021 is out. A Megxit Merlot if you will.


all fairness though, if Harry’s sad so are we. It sucks to have something you love taken away just because you were trying to provide a better life for your family -- even if providing that better life means selling the secrets of your other family. Fuck, we don’t know how we feel about this anymore.

Can’t they all just kiss and make up?

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