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What's Up With Andrew?

Happy new year, biatches. As the world continues to eat itself we’re not afraid to ask the hard hitting questions -- like what up with Prince Andrew and is he still pretending the FBI doesn’t exist?


The short answers are: nothing and yes. But we’re not really short answer people around here so let us explain.



He hasn’t performed any official royal duties since that tezz News Night interview in November 2019 (God, remember 2019?). He didn’t even make it into the photos of Beatrice’s COVID Wedding which is a huge deal. Anyone who knows anything about being royal knows that the weddings are the best part, with Christmas coming in a close second. Speaking of, he wasn’t at Sandringham last year either.


He’s living with Fergie. Honestly we’re not sure why but if the experience is anything like her youtube channel, sign us up.


He is still Biz’s favourite largely because at the time he was born she had a bit more time to chill (having already birthed the heir and what not) and because Andrew is way more into military shit than Charles ever was. While we find all the military clap-trap a little borzo, it’s obvi a soft spot for the Queen.


He’s still not cooperating with the FBI, even though he said publicly that we would. Lel? A lawyer representing Jeffrey Epstein’s alleged victims has called it “outrageous” that Prince Andrew has still not cooperated with US authorities, one year after he promised to do so, calling on him to “do the right thing". Meanwhile Ghislaine Maxwell’s trial is due to start in July. She’s been charged with grooming girls as young as 14. Yikes. Still, Andrew’s not spilling any tea in an effort to get off lightly and continues to deny, deny, deny.


What a shit show!





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