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When Charles becomes King he’s going to give Andrew the sack - ROYAL FAMILY NEWS


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Long has Charles been waiting in the wings to take centre stage as the British King and he’s already getting us excited about it with the news that he plans to give his shit brother Andrew the sack.


A mate of the late Phil the Greek, Gyles Brandreth, has been spruiking this inside knowledge to the Express and pls tell us what else you know Gyles! Are Beatrice and Eugenie still allowed to wear outrageous unstylish hatinators? Will Harry and Megs ever be invited to Crimbo at Sandringham again? Tell us Gyles. Tell us!


Anyway, turns out Charles is keen to keep his less shit sister Princess Anne as a top royal, his very diligent brother Edward and of course Wills, Kate and their 3 ankle biters. Reducing the Royals to just 6.


Christ knows what Biz thinks about this but the British tax payer will probably appreciate it and the lack of Prince Andrew related stress will surely lead to a better quality of life and approval rating for King Charles… so he’s gotta be happy about that.


While the British tabloids are secretly shitting themselves with the amount of boring content these Royals provide, LK and Rossy are cheering on Charles for finally stepping up and belting Frank Sinatra’s ‘I did it my way’ to Biz and of course his shit brother Andrew.


Royal family news

For more updates on Prince Andrew and other breaking royal news, tune into We’ll Never Be Royals wherever you get your pods!


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