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  • LK and Rossy

World Royals - Thailand


This week Rossy fantasises about potentially becoming a Thai royal herself while looking into King Vajiralongkorn's dirty laundry and his lavish lifestyle. LK finds an article made up of Royal members publicly crying - collated by the good people at Hello magazine. They have chats about Megxit guilt since reading the newly released 'Finding Freedom’ and try to limit their opinions for once.


Ok so the current King of Thailand - Vajiralongkorn, is a little bit hectic when it comes to his love life. At present he has five marriages under his belt and as his coronation was only last year who knows how many more nuptials he is going to rack up.


We’ve enlisted the help of dot points here to break it down and make sure you don’t file this away in the confused.com part of your brain.


  • Wife Number 1: Marries in 1977 and they have a daughter born in 1978. While simultaneously having a love affair with an actress who he goes on to have 5 children with - four sons and a daughter. Divorce is finalised in 1993 only if she takes full responsibility for the marriage breakdown.

  • Wife Number 2: In 1994 he married the actress but by 1996 she’s packing up her shit and taking the kids to Britain. Naturally her husband organises some hire-a-protestor action around the palace accusing her of adultery. Then he goes to Britain to abduct his daughter and brings her back to Thailand. During the kidnapping she got a royal title (and maybe a pony) but her brothers were stripped of their diplomatic passports and royal titles.

  • Wife Number 3: News of a baby son hits the newsstand in 2005 and King V then reveals he has actually been married to one of his long term staffers since 2001. The son was given a royal title - Crown Prince Dipangkorn Rasmijoti. But this wife was allegedly from a dodgy family and seven of her relatives were accused of corruption so she was stripped her of her title and they got divorced.

  • Wife Number 4: On May 1 2019, three days before his coronation, King V got himself a queen consort.

  • Wife Number 5: By July 28 he decides it’s time to up his game and appoints a second queen consort. But by October 21st the palace had stripped wife number 5 of this title due to her being disrespectful to the 1st queen consort. As of April 2020, the 5th wife has not been seen and is rumored to either be in prison or dead.


Got it?! Coolio.


‘When you got to get some shit from Target at 7pm but be the wealthiest monarch in the world by 9pm’


King V also mainly lives in Munich where he gets around in this kind of get up at the local Target (pictured here with his 2nd Queen consort). He also likes to ride his bike and keep himself busy with agriculture, health care and education projects. But mainly likes to hang at Target and a bridal registry on the weekends.


Before King V became monarch his old man Bhumibol was much loved by the Thai’s during his 70 year reign. He was often considered as a god by his people but he was a brainy King as well, inventing a Rainmaking technique to help out farmers in drought affected areas. He also kinda accidentally became King after his eldest brother was shot in an incident that the internet believes the details are unclear. But we all know how easily that kind of thing can happen when there is a royal tile involved.


Rossy still holds out hope that Marketing Director Billy is actually a secret Thai royal and is just waiting for the right time to break it to her that they are returning to the motherland in a royal capacity. She’s already picked out a crown and everything.


And that’s the Thai’s. Check ya later royals fans.


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