ROYAL FAMILY NEWS: Princess Diana... The People's Princess
G’day royal nerds. Righto, so even though Princess Diana is dead (may she rest in peace) there is still no way in a million years she would nab an invite to Royal Crimbo at Sandringham, because she was not the favourite daughter in law after she blabbed about how shit it actually is to be a princess! But having said that she is 100% a major figure in the modern monarchy. Maybe even the most important of this British lot because of her massive exposure of the royals being nasty pasties. So it turns out that all her banging on to Andrew Morton and naughty Marty Bashir was actually worth it!
The Quick Squiz
Despite what people might think the lead up to becoming a royal was pretty vanilla for Diana. So here is the quick squiz. Grew up in the country… yadi yadi yadda… a low level aristocrat… yadi yadi yadda… did a bit of nannying and cleaning houses. Met Prince Charles after her sister dated him. Gross. Charmed her way into a date. Met the Queen and Phil the Greek, they loved her. Picked herself the biggest ring possible from the royal collection had a dress fitting and married the future King of England. Spoiler alert - It goes a little tits up after that for her.
Goes without the saying the ‘revenge dress’ she rocked at a black tie event the same night Charles confessed to a journo about his decades long adultery with Camilla Parker-Bowles is an absolute lifetime highlight for her, and us! Given the absolute scandal that this confession was, it should have sent the entire British media into a tizz, but come the morning and the news headlines were all about Diana and that sexy black dress. Not Charles and his boring little affair he had with a plaid wearing commoner. We can only imagine Charlie (and Camilla) would have been absolutely fuming.
Now don’t start bawling but it’s hard to find a lowlight for Diana, so the only one of note has to be that she wasn’t Camilla. Pause for reaction. That’s her only flaw, she wasn’t the love of Charlie’s life and she was never going to be Queen Consort. Oh and the time she had an affair with James Hewitt. But that is a tiny detail that is hardly worth mentioning.
Brand new information
Have you heard of a bloke named Barry Manakee? Well he was the bodyguard of Diana who was also her secret lover. Gasp! But hang on, because it gets better. Barry was sacked as a bodyguard after he and Diana were found in a compromising position and then he died in a raod accident. Same as Diana! You might even say caught Diana - hook line and sinker when she was watching Charles fish (FFS honestly!) one day and he got a fish hook in her eye, kept fishing and Barry was the one to console her and get her to medical attention. What a legend?!