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ROYAL FAMILY NEWS: William The Favourite


Oh, hey mate! Welcome to the new season of “We’ll Never Be Royals”.

Full disclosure, we tried to get ChatGTP to write this blog but he wouldn’t because he said our tone was “disrespectful”. Make of that what you will. This week, we’re covering (apparently) everyone’s fave royal, Willie.


The Quick Squiz

So Wills was born third in line and then some kid cracked his head open with a golf club. He did A LOT of boring military things and then wanted to be Governor General of Australia (same!). But his life really started when he met that snazzy dresser, Kate, at a fashion show. Sure his hair is thinning but he’s the perfect accessory to all her looks.

Highlight

Jesus, he was good at putting that car seat in after Georgie was born. And when the whole world was watching too. The Daily Mail told us he practiced with a doll for weeks beforehand. Bless him.

Lowlight

Look. He may or may not be having slash have had an affair with Rose Hanbury but whatever. It’s 2023 and if he wants to be #PrinceOfPegging, we say go for it – with Kate’s permission of course. The real lowlight is that he shot a precious African bird he shouldn’t have but don’t we all get a little trigger happy sometimes?


Brand New Information

There is a lack of evidence that Wills can in fact type using a computer. Given that he has been documented doing pretty much everything his entire life, we’re buying into this conspiracy in a big way. But no judgment. Who needs to type when you have diamonds? But interesting trivia nonetheless. You can take that to your next dinner party if you want.


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